THE TEST RESULTS

Tuesday Oct 5

I told you that I would honestly report what is happening. So, when the going gets tough ..... things will be moving very quickly now. The price of a fully informative report is that it may not be for the squeamish. There are some positive things to take away from this. The first is that my survival chances are better than 70%, which according to statistics for my age group is better than that for people without cancer. It seems that more than 30% of those fall under a bus. Why don't they just take that bus off the road? The tumor in my gut is now about 8 cm, and most of it is not in the gut but on the other side of the  wall, like the tip of the iceberg. The havoc that it wreaks is the cause of the blood, which thankfully is not coming from the tumor. Lymph glands are swollen but there is no sign of - I don't know the english word - perhaps 'seeding'? A more sinister aspect is that the scan showed that I have a large tumor in one of my kidneys, which has nothing to do with that in my gut, and which may not have been noticed until too late. Bernadet and I were looking at the scan pictures, and I asked what was that black line round my kidney, and why is my kidney all white in the middle?. He said that the black line was in fact my kidney, and the white was something else. The kidney will be removed as soon as possible, maybe this week. I carry a donor's card in my wallet, but one may think it would be polite to wait until I have finished with an organ. Joking apart, you could say that without one form of cancer that certainly made it's presence felt, the other may have gone unnoticed until it may have been too late. Wow! Who's a lucky boy then!


Anyhoo, the 'team' will meet this very afternoon to discuss what to do and when. The one thing that I feared most will happen, and that is that I will have a stoma. Normally, tumors can be removed from the gut as long as there are a few centimetres either side to snip and stitch (usually a half-cross-forward, though some surgeons favour the standard backstitch I'm told). Anyhow, in my case there is not enough bowel left before the outside world begins. Within a doctor's knobbly finger reach, as I discovered to my distress on Friday.  There remains to be resolved, should a stoma be done now so that normal service in the bowel department can resume. If so, can the kidney be removed at the same time. The kidney must go soon anyway, so why not a stoma at the same time. Bit of multi-tasking, and two guys can easily work one on each side. Or end as it were.  Bit 0f overtime and a bonus. Hope their anaesthetic works better than that in the Black Eel department! Anyway, when that is done, radiation and chemo starts. Will I go bald? Please refer to the RSPB site and look under Fulica Atra. Not to be confused with Fulica Cristata, the Red-Knobbed Coot, the fate perhaps of more unfortunate sufferers. We went to make an appointment at the urologists, but there was a long queue and a terrible drilling and hammering and the occasional curse coming from behind a tarpaulin. Sounds like he's busy, I said to Bernadet. 


Back home and straight to Merel who was about to take Katinka for a walk round the lanes. Bernadet went to the coffee group at Opa's, but I felt one of us was enough. And I wanted to talk to Merel at that moment. I explained everything quite frankly.She did not show any sadness. She has, like you four, the Ricketts weapon that makes short work of adversity by making fun of it. I explained about the stoma. She gave me a huge long hug, saying we should do this a lot because after the stoma we might not be able to get this close again. We walked the horse around and made ourselves silly laughing at all the things for and against stomas. Supposing your air-bag failed in a car crash - you'll be glad to have that extra one, although it could be unpleasant for the rescue services!. What if she were wearing her gothic bomber jacket with the pointy metal bits, and we embraced in a fierce cuddle!. What if one farted a lot after chile-con-garne, expanded the bag and took off?. One unlucky lightning strike or a brush against the high-tension cables and you've got another Hindenburg disaster, or one of those pictures of downed zeppelins spiraling down in flames in World War 1.


Off to the doctor soon, for advice on pain killers and sleeping aids. It is important to keep my strength up, and that means sleep and normal activity. Like riding a bike, the thought of which makes me cringe at the moment. Maybe the stoma bag is flexible in position and can form a rather comfortable gel cushion on top of the bony saddle. I also have to eat, but that is difficult if there is a blockage. The surgeon says it will resove itself when the radiation takes effect rather quickly. I hope so as I would rather that the stoma was placed properly by a surgeon rather than that one suddenly forced itself through while out shopping. Or drawing the nude model in the art Class, poor girl.


I will know more tomorrow from the kidney mechanic. All in all, it is no worse than I expected. And above all, I can live with it.


Love you all. 
Dad


PS.  Went to the chemists to collect my stuff. Would you believe that sleeping pills and pain-killers are NOT on the list covered by our already expensive insurance? People in pain or needing sleep through pain take this stuff to relieve the condition. This, according to the chemist, makes them ADDICTS. the only way to fight addiction is:
- don't insure it so that it has to be paid for outside the health insurance
- make it expensive so that potential addicts can't afford it and are therefore saved from their own weakness.


Bollocks! I bought them anyway, so I shall sleep well tonight!. Also, the doctor prescribed 'astronauts' drinks, a concentrated food drink that produces very little waste to pass through the eye of the needle. This is covered, but which is foul and which is mannah from heaven?. Can I taste it first? A sample package perhaps? Yes, but at the price of a 7 course meal at the Ritz. Well, I exaggerate. A 4 course meal at the Ritz.


Sleep well. I know I will.